i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
