How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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