I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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