after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
