I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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