I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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