Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
