On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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