Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this just has baby written all over it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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