All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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