no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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