Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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