She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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