You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
