oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
