no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
