YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
