coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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