a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Randomize
