ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm passing your future prison.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
