so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
