I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
