32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
