You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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