Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
