I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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