oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
