Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
