She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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