had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
