it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
