Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
