Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize