So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
