my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize