And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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