There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
