OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
