Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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