I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
