If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
