I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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