Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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