kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
