Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was born a porn star she said
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
