she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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