I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
