How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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