Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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