Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
