Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
