My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
