My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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