I just threw up on my dentist
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
