you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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