He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
