fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we're making bets on your personal life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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