is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
