thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
