Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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