just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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