I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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