I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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