I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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