I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
