You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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