so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
