Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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