I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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