do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
